Routines are a consistent set of activities that help prepare you and your child for everyday life. They develop a sense of security, helps develop good habits and can play an important role in developing confidence and good mental health.
Bedtime Routines
Morning Routines
- Prepare and Plan
Try to get things as ready as possible the night before, for you and your children. Your morning will go much more smoothly if clothes, uniforms and lunches are ready to go. Think about what you need for the next day and pack bags in advance, so in the morning everything is at hand. You could start by making a checklist.
- Get Everyone Involved
Your routine may be more successful if you get all your family involved. If you have older children, ask them what they would prefer to help with. For example, they could help dress younger children, or make breakfast. Ask for the opinions of everyone in the household on how a routine could work for you.
- Make it Fun
You could make your routine more engaging by making it fun. Some ideas are getting your children involved in ticking off things on your checklist or using timers to see how fast they can get something done. Have a think about what your child responds well to.
- Praise and Encouragement
Children respond well to praise. Instead of your child turning on the TV when they wake up, consider keeping the TV off until everything is done. 10 minutes of screen time could be a reward when they are ready for the day ahead. Don’t forget to recognise when they’ve done something right, or when they are trying hard to stick to the routine you’ve agreed.
Try not to get angry if they don’t do something right, you could explain how they could have done it better and give them another go. Try not to step in and fix it.
- Be Consistent
It’s unlikely that you will all adjust to a new routine straight away, the key is to let the routine become second nature and this needs time to settle. If you use your new routine every day, whether you are getting ready for school, appointments, day trips or just a morning visit to the park, it will embed. Children may push back at first, but patience and consistency is key. Research has shown that it takes, on average, 66 days for new behaviours to become a habit!
- If it isn’t Working
Don’t worry, your new routine may not work first time and you need time to find out what’s right for you. You haven’t failed, just take a moment to think about what may work better for your family. Get everyone involved and re-assess together.
A bedtime routine can build good sleeping habits and can help your child feel safe and secure, helping them to drift off to sleep and stay asleep throughout the night.
The Right Time
Finding the right time to put your child to bed may be difficult, as no two children are the same. Here is a rough guide:
- Under 3 months: new-born sleep cycles may not yet be in place however a good time to aim for is 7:30 - 9:30pm
- 3 - 6 months: 7pm - 8:30pm
- 6 -12 months: 6pm - 8pm
- 1 - 3 years: 6pm - 7:30pm
- 4 - 6 years: 6pm - 8pm
- 7 - 12 years: 7:30pm - 9pm
- 13 - 16 years: Teenagers need around 9 hours of sleep per night. Count backwards from the time they need to get up for school, making allowances for around 20 minutes to fall asleep.
As all children are different, you may find that you may need to adjust these times. If your child is taking a long time to fall asleep, they may need to go to bed a little later. Also, if they get overtired (such as getting irritable, clumsy, upset or fussy) you may need to put them to bed a little earlier. Bedtime may need to change as they get older, so don’t be afraid to change it if it’s not right for your child.
Before Bedtime
Try to do the same thing every night in the hour leading up to bedtime, find out what works for your family. For example: have a snack and drink, bathtime and brush teeth, get dressed, read a story and lights out!
It’s good to avoid:
- Sugar or caffeine in snacks and drink
- Activities with lots of stimulation (such as screens, loud music or boisterous play)
- Scary stories or programmes
It's good to:
- Let your child know that bedtime is coming up (e.g. after this snack we’ll be brushing our teeth and going to bed)
- Check your child has everything they need (e.g. have they had a drink? Do they have their favourite bedtime teddy or blanket?)
During Bedtime
Children may feel more secure with a nightlight on or their door open slightly, and this is fine. Try not to engage with them if they call out unless you think that they may genuinely need something, or something is wrong. If your child keeps getting out of bed, try not to make eye contact or talk to them and calmly take them back to bed. This may take a lot of patience but do this as many times as it takes for them to stay in their bed. If they keep waking up in the night, try to think of the reasons this could be. For example, are they:
- Afraid of the dark? You could try a nightlight or leaving a nearby light on with their door slightly open
- Having nightmares? Talk to your child and find out if anything is bothering them. Activities such as making worry toys may help with this. Nightmares are quite common in younger children, try to think about the recent programmes they have watched or stories they have had before bed. Reassure and comfort your child.
- An uncomfortable temperature? You could try adding or removing blankets as they may be too hot or too cold.
- Hungry or thirsty? Think about the food and drink they have had as part of the bedtime routine. Is there anything you could change?
In the Morning
A good morning routine can complement a good bedtime routine. Don’t forget to praise your child for going to bed without a fuss or staying in bed all night.
If you are worried about your child’s sleeping, you should contact your Health Visitor or book an appointment with your GP.